Dear Urban Diplomat: do I have to keep paying for my seat at a café?
Dear Urban Diplomat,
At my local café, earbud-sporting caffeine junkies on laptops (of which I’m one) are as much a part of the ambiance as the Alabama Shakes album on repeat. So I was shocked the other day when, three hours into my stay, a server snarkily asked if I’d like to buy something—anything—besides my flat white. Am I a jerk if I don’t drop a king’s ransom on a steel-cut oatmeal muffin every 10 minutes to keep my seat?
—Ugly Americano, West Queen West
We reached out to some of the city’s most popular Wi-Fi hubs—er, coffee shops—and got answers as varied as their pastry selection. One claimed their seating policy is based on simple math: if you keep a twosome from eating lunch, your $3 spend hogs a table that could bring in $20, and you may be asked to relocate. Another said lingering laptoppers add to their coveted community vibe, even if they’re savouring a single mug of drip for hours. A third suggested that if you’re inconveniencing anyone, it’s not the staff but rather your fellow macchiato addicts. So how about this for an answer: just be considerate. If it’s the lunch rush, vacate the table for four you’ve been monopolizing and ask to share a two-seater with the guy pounding out his spec screenplay. And if you get a dirty look the third time you order a tap water refill, drop a couple of bucks on a friggin’ scone.
Send your questions to the Urban Diplomat at urbandiplomat@torontolife.com
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Dear Urban Diplomat,
At my local café, earbud-sporting caffeine junkies on laptops (of which I’m one) are as much a part of the ambiance as the Alabama Shakes album on repeat. So I was shocked the other day when, three hours into my stay, a server snarkily asked if I’d like to buy something—anything—besides my flat white. Am I a jerk if I don’t drop a king’s ransom on a steel-cut oatmeal muffin every 10 minutes to keep my seat?
—Ugly Americano, West Queen West
We reached out to some of the city’s most popular Wi-Fi hubs—er, coffee shops—and got answers as varied as their pastry selection. One claimed their seating policy is based on simple math: if you keep a twosome from eating lunch, your $3 spend hogs a table that could bring in $20, and you may be asked to relocate. Another said lingering laptoppers add to their coveted community vibe, even if they’re savouring a single mug of drip for hours. A third suggested that if you’re inconveniencing anyone, it’s not the staff but rather your fellow macchiato addicts. So how about this for an answer: just be considerate. If it’s the lunch rush, vacate the table for four you’ve been monopolizing and ask to share a two-seater with the guy pounding out his spec screenplay. And if you get a dirty look the third time you order a tap water refill, drop a couple of bucks on a friggin’ scone.
Send your questions to the Urban Diplomat at urbandiplomat@torontolife.com){kind=link}
During the “three hours into my stay”, are your devices also plugged in and running up the shop’s hydro bill? I have immediately walked out of many a coffee shop because there are too many occupants blindly staring at computer screens. It’s not ambiance.
Self absorbed dick. Buy something you wanker.
This wasn’t a serious question was it? I can’t begin to count the times I’ve walked into a coffee shop looked around to see all the seats taken by people “doing work” without any product and then walked right out.
Here’s a you cheap bastard; go to the library.
Exactly. How can a café attain a ‘coveted community vibe’ if there’s no community, just a bunch of self-isolating individuals?
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This could be easily solved with technology. The standard should be that you get with your purchase, on your receipt, a wifi access ID that would have an expiration set by the operator. Then to get access again, you would have to make another purchase.
Questioning whether or not it’s appropriate to utilize the space, internet and hydro of a restaurant as one’s de-facto office for (from the sounds of it) at least half of a standard business day, in exchange for the purchase of one beverage…. For crying out loud, pony up for a latte or go home. Wanker, indeed.
Ok, you win for best comment. That final one liner? LOL
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In answer to your question, I’d say yes, you are. Support the place whose resources you’re using and space you’re occupying, or move on.
Space is at a premium in this city’s coffee shops. If you’re occupying a 4-top by yourself, which is always invariably the case with these laptop hobos, either pay your way or get thee to TPL.
I hope you’re at least tipping well.
Yes you are a total jerk! The café is a business and it needs to make profit to run operations. It’s useless wifi-sucking idiots like you that ruin a business. Go to hell!!!
How does it take you three hours to drink a cup of coffee? It’s a cafe- serving coffee is their business, not providing free wi-fi to anyone who calls dibs on a table. If you aren’t ordering, what are you even doing there? I agree with Mike- go to a library.